Luna's Lament
by DragongirlM
Summary: The only difference between now and a thousand years ago is my age./ Princess Luna reflects on the social differences between she and her sister.


"_We were meant to rule together, little sister."_

I know that's what you thought. I know you meant well, Celestia. You thought we could govern Equestria as equals and avoid a repeat of a thousand years ago.

Could it have been? Maybe. I suppose we'll never know, though. It can never be, now, thanks to the incident last millennium.

We were equal, once. We both wanted our subjects to be safe and comfortable while keeping the balance and living in harmony. We loved Equestria and each other, and we were happy.

We only ever had one argument, and I still remember every word.

"_Sister, I don't understand why anypony would want to sleep through the night. The moon is so beautiful, and the stars are so clear! Why don't they play and laugh, like they do when you raise the sun?"_

"_They are tired, Luna, and they have to sleep sometime. The night is dark and still, and everything sleeps then."_

"_Why don't they sleep during the day? It's just as long as the night, and they don't need an entire day's worth of rest!"_

"_The day is too bright."_

"_Then why is the moon not as bright, so the ponies can play during my hours? It is not fair!_

Not fair. A mantra I chanted to myself over and over again to justify what I admit was a temper tantrum. The ponies sang your praises when the sun rose, but showed only tired disinterest when I gave them the moon and the lovely, lovely stars. Not fair.

So I rebelled. I lashed out at you because you were there and because they loved you and didn't love me and because we always show our worst side to our families.

I don't condone what I did, but you must understand my reason.

You had every right to banish me to the moon.

Truthfully, I only sulked there for a couple hundred years before I found a way out, and I did not attack immediately because I expected an apology.

I thought that when I returned, things would have changed. Without me, I reasoned, there could be no night. The ponies would be too warm, their eyes too tired, from the constant, harsh sunlight. When I resumed my position, there would be worldwide relief, and you would run to nuzzle me and cry tears of joy and tell me how much you missed me as soon as I came home. Equestria would rejoice at my return. It was a vain hope.

When I came home, nopony remembered my name.

So I became Nightmare Moon. I didn't mean to, but my feelings took over and I let myself fall into my roiling emotions, allowing them to creep into my soul and corrupt me like dark, hissing snakes. I don't even know what I even planned to do with you after kidnapping you. Kill you? Of course not. Banish _you_ to the moon? Perhaps.

And I did not plan on keeping my promise of eternal night! All I wanted to do was scare my subjects into respecting me and my night. I full planned to let them have their daylight as long as they worshipped, respected, loved _me_ for just this once!

But then Nightmare took over. I knew in my heart that she was always with me, and my pain at being forgotten by most and dismissed as an old mare's tale by the rest awakened her and allowed her to seize control. Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to be a prisoner in your own head, trying and failing to get a word in edgewise over the boasts of imminent victory and declarations of doom and destruction? It is not fun, I can tell you that much.

_We were meant to rule together._

Did I really think that possible?

I can laugh at my naivety now, but when you said those soft, comforting, forgiving words to the trembling, pitiful alicorn on the cold stone floor of a ruined temple, she believed you. She believed we could rule with peace and harmony and love and friendship and rainbows and every other word that tastes like bile on my tongue when I so much as think their damning syllables.

It's not that I don't wish it to be; in fact, I want nothing more. No, it isn't you, and it isn't me.

It is our subjects.

You are great and powerful and the embodiment of wisdom and light and all things bright and beautiful. You are goodness incarnate.

I am not. Not to them. Not to even the kindest, most forgiving one of them.

To them, I am the thin shadow at your shoulder, a midnight-dark wraith paling besides a mighty archangel. I am not to be trusted. They think Nightmare is still in me, waiting for her chance to break free and wreak havoc again.

Maybe she is.

_Meant to rule together._ That's why I am a pariah in my own lands, then? Why they smile when you bless them with your vibrant, holy presence but avert their eyes and cower in fear when I pay them a call? (Fear of what, exactly? What was it the pink chicken said? They thought I was going to "gobble them up"?) Some equality.

Please don't think I blame you, dearest sister. You never expected this. Really, though! I kidnap the almighty princess they adore and threaten to cover their world in eternal night and you expect them to just play along when I return? Please. When you brought me back again after a thousand years, they cheered for you, their beloved ruler who saved them from utmost evil and eternal night. I think a few of the dimmer ones even thought you had taken me prisoner.

Worst of all, nothing's changed! The only difference between now and a thousand years ago is my age! The ponies still sleep through my night. I am still secondary. I am still your shadow.

The moon's light is a reflection of the sun.

Can't you see? I don't matter! When I was banished, you took on my duties in addition to yours. Our—your—subjects sighed in relief and became accustomed to a lone ruler. You carried on as though Princess Luna had never existed.

_Together, little sister. Together._

I know you meant well, Celestia dear. Could it have been?

No.


End file.
